The question " Why won't my cat let himself be touched?", is perhaps one of the most repeated by first-time owners of a feline The tendency to consider them as a small dog, or some rookie mistakes that we usually make even though we are already veterans, can make our kitty avoid us every time we try to show our affection with caresses.
This article on our site will try to explain something more about the peculiar character of cats, and the consequences that this can have on the interaction between humans and felines.
They are not small dogs
We know that they are carnivores, that they are the second most frequent pet in our homes, that they welcome us when we get home making us feel special and that, each one in their own way, enjoys our company. But cats are not dogs in reduced size, an obvious question that we often forget. In the same way that we insist that children do not harass animals by handling them without warning, or insistently, we must understand that having a cat is like having a demanding boss: he will decidePractically everything regarding interaction with your human.
For cats our home is their home, and they allow us to live with them. They mark us daily by rubbing against our legs in what we understand as a sign of affection, and in their world it is…, but a particular affection in which it is clear who is in charge. For this reason, and as far as caresses are concerned, we must understand that it will be the cat that decides how and when it will allow itself to be caressed and/or manipulated, and we will show their disagreement or agreement with multiple signs of feline body language (ear position, tail movements, pupils, sounds…) that will tell us when to end the session, or if we can continue.
But if my cat is like a stuffed animal…
Of course, this does not mean that there are not many "kibble-cats", veritable sacks of furry pampering that behave like the most accommodatingof the lapdogs. In fact, the character varies greatly depending on the predominant type of cat, and differences between European cats and American cats can be heard in many studies.
Years of selection have produced larger companion cats with a character more similar to that of a dog in some parts of the world, but the so-called Roman cat, the most frequent in European homes, is not so different from the one that swarmed near barns a few centuries ago, and its character is not usually that of the placid and enormous North American cats.
The wrong time
We always tend to try to reassure our cat with caresses when we see him in a stressful situation, but this can cause even more anxiety, make him avoid us and, therefore, we will ensure that our cat does not feel let play.
We all have images of our cat looking out the window and chewing on the air while he stares at a pigeon. At that moment, we may see his tail wagging anxiously. Our attempt to pet him possibly ends in a bite, since in this transitory situation (or in other similar ones), the poor kitty is a bit frustrated as well as focused and the last thing you need is a hand resting on your back or head.
News are difficult for cats to assimilate, so when visiting, changing furniture, or moving, it's normal that they avoid us when we insist on caressing them to calm them down, without having previously given them the space and time they need to get used to
If he has just gone through a very traumatic situation (the visit to the vet, for example), it is logical that it takes him a few hours to forgive our betrayal, avoid us or ignore us, just as when he has to give him some medication for several days, and he'll end up changing rooms as soon as he sees us come in.
Prohibited and allowed areas
Cats are very receptive to caresses in certain areas and quite reluctant to be touched in other parts of the body. The most accepted zones:
- The neck.
- Behind the ears.
- Jaw, and part of the nape.
- The back of the loin, just where the tail begins.
However, the saying "defend like a cat belly up" has a solid basis: cats generally hate it when we insist on scratching their belly, it is a defenseless posture that does not give them much peace of mind. So, if you try to do it and wonder why your cat won't let you touch, here's the answer.
The flanks are also delicate areas and they do not usually like to be caressed on them. So that nothing but our feline will let us share our home with him, we must begin gently to identify the areas that are especially annoying for him to touch.
Of course, there are the lucky cat owners who can caress them as they please without the kitty stopping purring for a minute, which there are, and they make us extremely envious. But almost all mortals have had or have a standard cat, which has left us several messages in the form of bites on the day or week that wasn't in the mood to petting.
A marked character
Just like every dog, every human or every animal in general, every cat has its own character, defined by genetics and the environment in which he grew up (son of a fearful mother, living with other cats and people in his period of socialization, stressful situations in his critical stage of development…).
Thus, we will find cats that are very sociable and always willing to interact in the form of caresses and others that will simply keep us company a couple of meters away, but without great confidence. We tend to attribute it to a uncertain and traumatic past, in the case of stray kittens, but this type of shy and elusive personality can be found in cats that have shared their life with humans from minute one and who have relatively social littermates.
Our attempts to get them used to handling can aggravate their reticence, achieving just the opposite of what we want, so that in the end our cat will come out from under the bed in time to eat and use the litter box and a little more.
Can you change the character of a cat?
There are behavioral changes that can be solved with the help of ethologists and/or medication, but if our cat is elusive and shy, we cannot change it, we can only help it by encouraging the moments in which it approaches us and adapting to them. In other words, instead of changing it, we can help it to adapt, and if that fails, we can adapt ourselves to the situation.
For example, many cats love to come to their owner's lap when he's sitting in front of the TV, but get up immediately when the owner starts petting them. Logically, what should be done in these cases is to enjoy this passive interaction, but just as comforting, and not insist on what you don't like, even if we never get to know the reason.
And the hormones…
Of course, if our cat is intact (not neutered), and the moment of heat arrives, everything can happen: from surly cats that become sycophantic, to cuddly cats that attack every human that move. And caresses, not to mention.
Male cats can run away from our caresses when they are whole and the mating season arrives because they are usually more busy marking territory, driving away competitors, exploring through the window (with often tragic results), and listen to your instincts, than in socializing with people.
The pain
In the event that our cat has always allowed himself to be petted without major problems, with his best and worst days, but has spent some time avoiding our caresses or attacking us when we touch him, that is, let's observe a change of evident character, it may be a clear symptom of pain and, therefore, the answer to the question "why does your cat not let himself be touched" is found in the following causes:
- Osteoarthritis
- Referred pain from some parts of the body
- Local burns that can arise after the application of some drug,
- Wounds that hide under the fur…etc.
In this case, a visit to the vet is necessary, who will rule out physical causes and, once these probabilities have been eliminated, look for the psychological causes, helped by the information we provide. We recommend you read the article on our site about the 10 signs of pain in cats, to complete this information.
dementia in cats is not as well documented as in dogs, but it is also possible that over the years cats change their habits just like dogs. Although they recognize us, it may be that although they used to love being caressed, the years have made them more special and they decide to cut the caresses earlier, or choose to avoid them, without there being any evidence of physical pain or mental suffering… they just become cantankerous, like humans, but it is necessary to first check that the origin of this behavior is not a physical or mental ailment.
